Self-care has become one of those words that evokes an eye roll or two. Who actually has time for bubble baths and manicures when you’ve got deadlines coming out of your ears and sticky cereal stuck to your hair? The thing is, self-care is not just a pamper party. In fact, some of the most effective forms of self-care involve hard conversations, boundary setting and rolling out of bed when you really don’t want to for a #HotGirlWalk.
Dhanusha Dhoorgalu finally saw the value of self-care after being hospitalised with extreme burnout. It was an experience that changed her life for the better, and even allowed her to make a career out of it, as a self-care coach and motivational speaker.
As Mental Health Awareness Month draws to a close, we asked Dhanusha to reflect on her learnings (and unlearnings) in finding a healthy approach to work and life.
Please tell us a little bit about yourself?
Dhanusha: I'm a 29-year-old woman from Merebank, a small town in Durban. I’ve lived in Cape Town for eight years and have a background in digital marketing and IT. Currently I am studying psychology and loving it. My journey to self-care started when I had a nervous breakdown at the age of 22. I ended up in hospital and since then, I've been on a journey of unlearning. These days I work as a self-care coach, speaker, content creator and business owner. My mission is to help women prioritise themselves, avoid burnout and lead a healthy, happy life.
What did a typical workday look like for you before you were hospitalised?
Dhanusha: I was a chronic overachiever, perfectionist and control freak and was juggling a full-time job as well as part-time studies in a field I wasn’t very interested in. This often meant burning the candle at both ends, with long days at the office followed by late nights studying. It was gruelling.
What were some of the immediate changes you made after being discharged?
Dhanusha: I took a leave of absence from work and used the time to better understand myself and learn to listen to my body. I ate better and prioritised sleep. I started to think about my bigger purpose in life.
How has your relationship with work changed?
Dhanusha: I no longer view my productivity as my worth. I also don’t strive for perfection. I have developed strict boundaries when it comes to work and personal time. I know that work will always be there but good health won’t, so I have to take care of myself. I don’t try to prove my worth in the office, I already know it.
For many people, self-worth and career performance and progression are closely linked. This is a big cause of overworking, burnout and stress. How can people learn to detangle from work and find fulfilment outside of their career?
Dhanusha: Think about what you would be doing if money were no object. Would your career still be the right one for you? Would you spend more time doing other things you love? What actually brings you joy? How can you make time for that?
These are all questions I have asked myself and are the ones that helped me define myself outside of work. Figuring out my ikigai – a Japanese concept about purpose and career – really helped me.
What are some common signs of burnout?
Dhanusha: Exhaustion, fatigue, stress, lack of motivation and poor performance. People who are suffering from burnout also tend to have an increasingly cynical outlook on life and work.
What are some habits you’ve developed to actively prevent burnout and overworking?
Dhanusha: Practising regular breathwork, exercising, setting boundaries and not taking on more than I can achieve realistically and successfully.
If you could impart one piece of advice around self-love, particularly as it relates to women and their careers, what would it be?
Dhanusha: Work will always be work. Just because it’s a passion, it doesn’t mean that you won’t be tired from it. We are human and we all need rest. There are seven types of rest, which I highly recommend looking into. Never tie your worth to your work, role or titles – your worth is inherent.
Follow Dhanusha on Instagram: @miss_dhanusha; YouTube: Miss Dhanusha; Twitter: miss_dhanusha and on her blog.